You taught my heart a sense I never knew I had...

Lights and blurs and colours and music pounding and scorched brain.
The hands take mine and lead me again.
They stop and move to my cheeks.
I feel something wet on my lips.
And then the kiss deepens.
The hands stroke my face and my neck and my back.
They move round to my stomach and tease the hem of my shirt.
My own somehow entangle in hair, long curly hair…
I open my eyes.
Hayley.
What?!
The alcohol pulsing in my veins slows my otherwise speedy reactions.
I stop the kiss and the hands.
The girl looks at me and smiles.
Lips against mine.
The kiss deepens again…
Stop.
I get up and stumble out of the room.
Tangles of limbs and bottles again.
Pulsing blood and pulsing music and pulsing brains.
I find another door.
Chilling air hits me as I open it.
I stagger over the threshold and taste sick.
Cold floor against cold face.
Darkness.
………………………………

“Erin?” a muffled voice is calling me.
“Wake up…Erin? Erin, please…wake up!!” the voice is closer.
I open my eyes.
Blurs and light.
Painful head.
A face blurs in and out of focus.
Ryan.
“Erin! Oh my god, you scared me so much!”
He strokes my face.
“Can you sit up? How do you feel?”
“Uh…ok I guess…”
I feel his arms behind me, helping me into a sitting position.
He looks at me, concern painted on his pretty face.
I look up and notice that a fair few people are stood close, looking at me too.
I can still here music inside.
I can’t have been out for too long.
“What happened?…Where’s Hayley?”
“Um…I found you a few minutes ago, but I don’t know how long you were out before then…and I don’t know where Hayley is, she must be somewhere inside…”
He turns to look at the door, as if expecting her to come bounding round the corner.
Nothing.
Typical.
Why did I even come to this stupid party? I knew it was a bad idea…
And Hayley wonders why I hate plastics and preps and their stupid parties?!
And where the fuck is she, anyway?
Ryan looks concerned again, mistaking my silence for a relapse.
“I’m fine.” I say shortly.
I make to get up and Ryan jumps up to help me.
“So…what happened before you collapsed?”
Guilt is evident in his eyes and I remember how I had stormed off earlier.
“Oh…I just drank too much I guess, it’s not your fault!”
He hugs me awkwardly, not the most tactile of people.
“Well, as long as you’re sure you’re ok now?”
I nod.
“Look, I think I’m gonna get a taxi home or something…I really don’t wanna stay here.”
He simply nods in response, knowing there’s no point in arguing.
“well, I’ll at least wait with you ‘til your cab gets here, that k?”
We walk together to the front of the house and I call a cab.
We wait and shiver together in a potentially awkward silence, though I don’t really notice.
Numbness eats at my brain, carrying on where the alcohol left off.
I don’t want to think about anything that happened or could happen or will happen.
The cab pulls in and I kiss Ryan goodbye on the cheek.
I give my address to the driver, and watch Ryan wander up the path and disappear into the house with his beautiful stranger as the cab pulls away.
Minutes later I pay the cabby and drag my feet to the door.
I fumble with my keys in the lock, open the door and turn on the hall light.
I grab some water in the kitchen before I creep to my room.
Despite the filth and sick and beer on me, I collapse on my bed fully clothed, and on top of my duvet and fall into an uneasy sleep.